צוויץ צוויץ: חסד מופלא

הפעם: יום העצמאות האמריקני, פסק הדין במשפטה של קייסי אנתוני, תגובתה של ננסי גרייס ושאר ציוצים.

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert

Happy Birthday, America! From one shining C to another.

joelmchale Joel McHale

Happy Independence America! In celebration, I'm in London. Don't worry I brought an ass-load of fireworks.

JonahHill Jonah Hill

Giving special thanks to Will Smith, Randy Quaid, and the rest of the patriots who made today possible.

(זה דווקא היה דניס קווייד)

ConanOBrien Conan O'Brien

July 4, 1776: the day that we “unfollowed” King George. #waytoointotwitter

Andy_Richter Andy Richter

If you see me at the beach, and I go into the water, I am peeing.

PFTompkins Paul F. Tompkins

Just saw a Pristiq ad. Is 'loss of interest' really a symptom of depression? Am I just sad, and stuff is more fascinating than I realized?

BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz

When women ooh and ah at fireworks it's sometimes hard to know if they're faking it.

thomaslennonThomas Lennon

Only a few moments left on this Independence Day to reflect on what happened to the Russian guy on The Sopranos. WTF?

Andy_RichterAndy Richter

While roasting marshmallows before beach fireworks, 5 yr old daughter tells me, "Three words: I love Fourth of July!"

קייסי אנתוני וננסי גרייס

ביום שלישי זוכתה בפלורידה קייסי אנתוני מאשמת רצח בתה הפעוטה. לאורך כל המשפט הקפידה ננסי גרייס, הפסיכו שמי שצופה בארץ ב"המרק" בערוץ E! מודע היטב לקיומה, לחרוץ את דינה של אנתוני כאשמה. כמובן שהמיקרו-בלוגספירה געשה בעקבות כל העניין הזה, ורבים התייחסו הן לזיכוי והן לתגובתה ההמומה של ננסי גרייס. הנה כמה כאלה:

rainnwilsonRainnWilson

Dear Florida, THANK YOU for freeing Casey! She's now available for partying and babysitting!

michcollMichelle Collins

Nancy Grace is obviously Cape Fearing a ride home underneath Casey Anthony's car tonight, right?

JohnFugelsangJohn Fugelsang

I seriously haven't seen nancy grace this furious since her bungling henchmen let those dalmatians escape.

kristenschaaledKristen Schaal

Juror: "You know, it's like when your daughter goes missing and you go to a hot body contest and get a tattoo, we've all done that, right?"

kristenschaaledKristen Schaal

Juror: "It's like when you're kid's gone you just party for 31 days until someone finds you out. That's normal, right?"

kristenschaaledKristen Schaal

Juror: "We've all borrowed shovels from our neighbor after our kid has gone missing."

kevin_nealonKevin Nealon

Casey Anthony. You go girl! You have three years of partying to make up for!

poniewozikJames Poniewozik

Nancy Grace: Caylee's murder will "go unavenged." So glad we have her to explain the workings of the US Vengeance System.

RealGilbertGilbert Gottfried

Upon hearing the not guilty verdict, Casey Anthony left the court room and yelled, "Oh, by the way, I killed Nicole Simpson."

BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz

Study: Majority of Americans Not Getting Enough Sleep Due to Nightmares about Nancy Grace

BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz

Fortunately for CNN, they will have a new Casey Anthony murder trial to cover when Nancy Grace kills her.

BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz

Just to review: the 4 branches of government are executive, legislative, judicial, and Nancy Grace.

BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz

BREAKING: CNN Viewers Severely Burned By Fire From Nancy Grace's Nostrils

BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz

Remember, folks: in America, you're innocent until Nancy Grace spends every night for 3 years saying you're guilty.

BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz

I hate the idea of someone who's clearly crazy & dangerous going free, but that's apparently the deal with Nancy Grace.

sethmeyers21Seth Meyers

It would be nice, to even things out, for there to be a very graceful woman somewhere named Nancy Rageface

וליקוטי אמרים נוספים בנושא.

עוד מציוצי השבוע

Andy_RichterAndy Richter

Just said this to my son: "All right, next time I go to the liquor store I'll buy you a boat." #atthebeach

Andy_RichterAndy Richter

Hey, @MythBusters ! You guys ever investigate the efficacy of the "courtesy flush"? Asking for a wife.

GarryShandlingGarry Shandling

I accidently touched Paris Hilton with the tip of my lit cigarette, and she said, "That's hot."

GarryShandlingGarry Shandling

There's a new app that allows you to start your car from anywhere just by dialing it. Good for when ur too drunk to start it by yourself.